Wednesday, May 16, 2007
- 12:01 AM
Mother's Day just past... SO I've got a surprise for you!_I OWE MY MOTHER_
* *1. *_My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE _*.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. *_My mother taught me RELIGION_*
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. *_My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL_*
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. *_My mother taught me LOGIC_*.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. *_My mother taught me MORE LOGIC_*.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. *_My mother taught me FORESIGHT_*.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. *_My mother taught me IRONY_*.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. *_My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS_*.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. *_My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM_*.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. *_My mother taught me about STAMINA_*.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. *_My mother taught me about WEATHER_*.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. *_My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY_*.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. *_My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE_*.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. *_My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION_*.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. *_My mother taught me about ENVY _*.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. *_My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION_*.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. *_My mother taught me about RECEIVING_*.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. *_My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE_*.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. *_My mother taught me ESP_*.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. *_My mother taught me HUMOR_*.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. *_My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT_. *
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. *_My mother taught me GENETICS_*.
"You're just like your father."
23. *_My mother taught me about my ROOTS_*.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. *_My mother taught me WISDOM_*.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: *_My mother taught me about JUSTICE_*.
"One day! you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
HAHA! When I got this from my friend, I thought it was going to be one of those appreciate your mother emails. BUT!!!