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Thursday, June 09, 2005
I just came back from RC yesterday. Seriously, words cannot describe the experience I had. It simply is just beyond words. I had a great time and was actually quite sad on the last day. Time really flies during those six days. I think no one can ever go through the experience unless they have been through a CI course.

The first day was an eventful day, like my instructor put it. I will never look at the word eventful and not think back on that very day. I suppose the whole batch was not performing on that day, and with the comparison of the May course, the instructors were not exactly very satisfied. THEN, my squad was the duty squad!! And we screwed up big time and delayed like almost half an hour. Then Miss Lee scolded the whole batch and during debrief, our squad was given the ultimatum to either vote someone out of the course or the whole squad will have to get out. I dont know, I was feeling a little lost at that point of time. I mean, it was only the first day and already we are given this kind of ultimatum and only 2 minutes to come up with our decision. I could see that our whole squad was shocked and also quite lost. Without thinking, we all decided to get out of the course as a squad. So we packed our bags and matched to the drill shed. I still remembered that on that very morning, we were still wondering about how we were going to march out on the last day because of our heavy bags. I dint even imagine that I wuld be carrying my bag again and marching out so soon. I dint believe that we woud be thrown out of the course because something like that happened in our unit too and no one was thrown out. But yea, we marched to the drill shed and there we got scolded, screamed at, shouted at by Miss Lee and Miss Loy. I couldnt exactly remember what they said, only that the words 'passion' and 'Do you really want to get out of the course' were being mentioned a lot of times. They made us see that we made an extremely rash decision and we will regret it if we werent given the second chance. They criticised that we were smiling and laughing when packing and writing the letter of resignation from the course. I think its not because we are happy or anything. It was a false front, a facade, to conceal our inner feelings. No one wanted to get out, obviously. In the end, Ridhuan and Peihao said that they wanted to quit the course because they felt that they would not be able to cope. The remaining 13 of us went back to the bunks, with many reflections and the promise to do better the next day. I had felt like crying.

When i reached my bunk, I was like quite lost. I dint know what to do first. Its like the after math of all the trauma that my squad went through, extra special night time treatment. You probably would not understand how it feels unless you are one of the 15 of us. That night, I kept waking up at hourly intervals, too nervous to sleep. I remember thinking about how was I going to go throught the rest of the 5 days, with the first day already being so horrible. From that incident, I think I have learnt alot. Learnt that making rash decisions really has big big consequences.

The second day was much better. We started the morning with life skills, where Kenneth sir and Irfah mam talked to us about the previous evening and gave us this story about not giving up. I felt like crying again. That incident is like a raw part inside. Then after that we had knots and lashings session, taught by our squad mate. After that was rope obstacle. Heh heh, I was the fastest to tie all three rope obstacles without mistakes!! Then we had mass run, I almost died! I mean, the run was still ok, but the last part where we had to take our box files and water bottle and to run really almost killed me.

I really enjoyed myself on the second day, definately it was much much better than the first and our squad was also much better and more enthu, we have a squad cheer and a batch cheer and everything seemed great! Yea, and that night, I was doing my reflections and talking to Jueling on the phone. Then guess what!! Xiaojun mam came in to do bunk check la!! WOAHH! so suay.

The third and fourth day was really good. It seemed that it could not have been better. Morale wsa high, debrief was funny and faces were alight with smiles. And, there was this time whn my squad was the last one to arrive at the bunk area. When we arrived, there were already a few people who have already changed. My squad rushed in, and came out in record time!! We managed to leave the area together with the other squads. That is something that i am extremely proud of. I also realised that my squad always finish eating the earliest. And that is not because most of us eat fast, its that most of us dont eat!! Yeap, and I really learnt alot of hard skills and soft skills from Kenneth sir and Irfah mam. I think Kenneth sir is like damn pro la! For every life skills session, he will like say that he attended this this this this course before and can tell us a lot of things that are really meaningful, once, after listening to what he had to say, I was like raring to go home and start studying for mid yr!

On the third night, Kezia and Winnie came to my bunk and we gossipped like mad. It was then that I realised that I actually liked the course a lot!

Then came the fifth day, we are the duty squad again. That was the time when adversity came. We were taken by Zaki sir and Chengyun sir for arms drill. I think the way that Zaki sir taught drill is really good. But, Joeyee was our IC at that time and he was nervous, very. He gave weird commands and all of them were wrong. I guess our squad was very impatient and we pressurised him until he almost broke down. Then there was the special program. It was not very well done, we lacked the communication skills and the teamwork that we thought was there. I think day 5 was almost like day 1, quite bad. And I was super pissed of with this guy in my squad. Lets call him A. He is super irritating and will keep scolding people who dont lift their hands 90 45 or dont lock their elbows. Come on, look at yourself, is your drill really that gd that it warrants you permission to scream at your own squad mates. We are not your cadets for goodness sake. I had doubts about my squad's strong bonds on that day.

The last day was memorable. We had our assessment. I forgot one of the 5 family of knots!! I cant believe it!! Nvm. I think on the last day, everyone was super high and hyper. Our squad was especially violent during PT and a lot of us were laughing at almost nothing at all. Lack of sleep? Kezia and Winnie came to my bunk to study for the assessment and to do reflections. Actually my whole bunk was already awake by around 2 plus in the morning. So all of us were like studying.

At night, the last activity was debrief. It was sad. Once the words ' the eventful first day' was mentioned, I started like crying.. So paiseh. Winnie was sitting beside me and she was already crying! Then Kezia also cried and gradually more and more people started too. Whatever that Kenneth sir and Irfah man spoke about during that debrief was meaningful and very touching. he spoke about our squad not necessarily being the best but we can be the best in our own way. And that our instructors are not as strict as the other instructors because they believe that talking to us is a more effective way and that hopefully we would remember what they have told us.

I remember the moments, when we were having orienteering in the atrium, when we were having lamp lighting in the drill shed, when we marched and ran in the rain, when we were having meals together, when doing drill in the Annex, when having our live shoot, when we changed the fastest...

Squad 5 , J05 , 3rd -8th June

Ooh.. I got 98 for live shoot!! hahaz
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